Sunday, January 25, 2009
Had a "coming to Jesus talk" with DH the other day
Remember those eating buddy friends I was talking about? Well... they caused a fight here the other night. I admit up front that I overreacted and read DH the riot act out of turn, but maybe it was time. He needs to reconsider his "other woman" for my sanity.
I had just gotten home from my folks' house on Tuesday evening. Late, for a work night. I maybe had 20 minutes to sit here and talk to hubby before we had to go to bed. I told my mom, sure as I'm standing here, the eating buddies are gonna call or e-mail Wednesday about going out to eat.
Sure enough, the wife e-mailed me Wednesday morning and asked if we wanted to go out to dinner. I simply ignored the e-mail and went about my day. I knew hubby was making beef stroganoff that day, which I would only partake of a little bit and eat something else more healthy, so going out to eat was not even in the gameplan.
So... I get home and DH says that the eating buddies are coming OVER to eat with us. OMG!! Now, I have had company solid from December 26 until January 4, and then I went to my folks' from January 15 to the 20th. I'm very much the homebody, so I was ready to just relax with DH and the tv, not play hostess to company that I feel just jumps on me at every opportunity. This is the same couple that called me the FIRST DAY I could eat solids after my surgery and asked, "Can you eat?? Can you eat??" knowing damn well that I could and then wanted to go have Chinese. I even said to the wife, "What the hell, did you have it on your calendar??"
So as I said, DH says they're coming over for dinner, and I hit the fan. I was like, OMG, why didn't you clear it with me first?? I already ignored a message from them asking about dinner, and now they're coming here and I really don't want them here, blah blah blah. That turned into our "coming to Jesus talk." I said that sometimes I feel just totally overwhelmed by the three of them, that ALL they do is focus on food 24/7 to the point where I feel hopeless and completely overtaken by it all. I told him how I felt that he is consumed by food, that he lives to eat rather than eats to live (which he denied), and I said bullshit, even our daughter who had visited over the new year said to my mom that all he does is talk about food. When his friend was here after Christmas, omg, all they did was talk about food! I'm just immersed in it, and I'm trying SO hard to not make everything in my life about FOOD.
He talked about how supportive he has been, and I said yes, to a point. He IS supportive in some ways, but he can be a huge saboteur in the fact that after a while he misses going out, and then it's, "Well, let's just go here this once," or, "I have a coupon for CiCi's Pizza, and it's only $5 for the buffet," but when I remind him my buffet days are over, he says, "Yeah, but it's only $5 to eat as much as you want, even if it's only a piece." Uh, C'MON! I don't think CiCi's is on my long-term eating plan! And wow, you ought to see the pantry. My mom had it right that he is likely making up for the fact that we're not eating out so much, but after my surgery there were donuts, little chocolate mini cakes, m&m's, Fiddle Faddle, cheese and crackers, you name it. I am thankful that it wasn't a draw for me, but OMG! It's like if I was a recovering alcoholic and couldn't go to the bars anymore, would you bring booze into the house???
So because of all this pent-up crap, I was ranting and raving. I let all these things I've been feeling for so long come out in a flood all at once, though I didn't intend for it to happen that way. But then again, maybe it needed to come out like that to have an impact.
So of course NOW every time I say something to him about food like what do you want for dinner, he says that I need to choose because he's trying not to make everything about food. *rolls eyes* I know he's not exactly being snarky, but...
Posted by Beth at 10:15 AM