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Sunday, January 11, 2009

A good movie

I just got done watching Why Did I Get Married, a great movie about relationships and the hardships that come with them.

I say this because one couple, Mike and Sheila, may resonate with some of us. Mike is a cad, a player who is sleeping with Sheila's friend. Sheila is overweight and the friend -- you got it -- is not. Mike puts Sheila down, disregards her feelings, laughs at her because of her weight, and is truly cruel to somebody he's supposed to love.

Long story short, Sheila finds out from her friends that Mike is cheating with her beautiful, skinny friend. He leaves her. She is devastated, and chooses to remain in Colorado (a place all the friends had all met for a week-long vacation). She meets a gorgeous man who falls for her for who she is. Later that year all the couples/friends meet again for an honor one of them receives for the book, Why Did I Get Married, and Sheila is now married to the wonderful new guy AND has lost a lot of weight.

It's so heartwarming as she tells her girlfriends how her transition happened. She didn't change herself FOR this new guy -- it just happened. During their courtship, he told her, "If you don't like how you look, then change it." This is after she had put herself down to him and he chides her for doing so as embarassing him FOR her. She said she just got so used to her husband doing it that she began to beat him to it.

I can so relate to that because I do the same thing around my skinny, pretty coworker friend. I know it's ugly, and I know if somebody said it TO me I would be hotter'n hell. However, I allow myself to say it about myself. It's a form of self-hate, and it's wrong. I know that much of our weight journey is mental -- sometimes moreso than physical. How can I think positively about myself when I am so ready to trash myself to myself? :(

Though I am not much for New Year's resolutions because, frankly, they suck, one thing I will work hard at this year is to treat myself with respect and love. I would ask no less of those who are close to me and who love me. It's time I expect the same from myself.

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