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Sunday, June 7, 2009

A cryptic message

You know, the day may come when your excuses are not enough -- and I feel good enough about myself that I will act for my own betterment.

"I'm tired" doesn't cut it anymore. Nights sitting on separate couches doesn't cut it anymore. Bullshit excuses, neglect, and nothingness doesn't cut it anymore. I am outgrowing you, and you don't seem to see it. Are you just that dumb, or don't you care? You ACT like you care -- well, you SAY you care -- but then... You will be one of those dumbasses who actually stands there gape-mouthed the day I walk out, not sure what happened. Because you're just that oblivious... or that dumb... or whatever.

When your woman throws herself at you, "I'm tired" doesn't make her want you. Because I promise you, I can find somebody who's not so tired in a freakin' heartbeat. Want me to prove it? Shit, it's not like you exert that much energy for that long. Got my drift, buck-o?

I suggest you get yourself together, become a MAN, and quit giving me these pussified bullshit excuses. Because my thought is: If I'm going to feel lonely, I may as well be alone. You are not irreplaceable.

End rant.


  1. Oooh babes, that was some vent!! lol You just tell it like it is, and I love that!! Sounds like stuff is a happenen' at your end. Chin up :)

  2. OH girl I am sorry ! I can tell ya I have been where you are. ( Well my hubby would never turn me down he's such a horn dog ) But i do understand !!! I can tell you from my end , things DID get better. But it took me setting him down telling him ( and this was true at the time) " I am done , i want a divorce i dont love you anymore " He BEGGED me not to . I think initially we both stayed and tried to work it out for the kids. But we are much better now and much more in love now than ever.
    But I will tell you this had he not straigthend up he would have been OUT ! O U T . There is not enough time in life in my opionion to be ignored , to feel rejected !!
    You deserve better ! My saying has always been " I would rather be alone than be with someone and be lonley !! "

    Love ya hang in there we are here !

  3. ARGH! sounds like bullshit to me and you shouldnt have to live that way! I have been wondering about the situation since you blogged about the lack of passion a couple of months ago. Thanks for the update and for being so honest. You didnt ask for any advice, and we of course only know 1/1000 of the issue, but I will tell you that life is short and you deserve to be happy and fulfilled!

  4. Thanks, y'all. I don't know what advice to ask for, so I guess that's why I didn't ask. I am also not in a position to leave -- and frankly I would RATHER it work itself out. However, this has been an issue with us for years and years. I believe it was a BIG part of the reason I turned to food, to fill the emptiness. Now I'm not blaming him for me being fat, but there was always that fear I would stray if neglected, and I guess I needed a "reason" for being ignored, so I created one. Plus, being fat "protected" me to some sick degree.

    I don't know what the answer is. Or maybe I do and I'm not yet ready to take that step. I just worry that when I'm done, I'm done. I've talked, cried, begged, threatened, screamed, moped, and been affected by this enough. Life IS short. And Mindy, I say that very thing as well.

  5. Girl sometimes I feel the same way, my boyfriend and I have been togeather for 6 years now and here in the past year I sleep in bed and he decided to make the couch his new home, he only comes in the bedroom maybe 1 time a month and then after "we are done" he goes back to the couch. Its getting kinda old but I understand where you are comming from. It hurts.