Saturday, February 28, 2009
Emotional eating rears its ugly head
I've had a sucky week. Long story short, I applied for a supervisor position at work and, rather than hiring from within (there were two of us who applied), they decided they needed "new blood" and hired from elsewhere. Needless to say, this is not a happy face.
Soooo... my new boss started on Monday; and though she seems very nice, I'm not putting myself out there very much. Just kinda keeping things close to the vest, I guess.
Thursday there was a taping at work to give to people, and I ended up being in it. We had food for people, but I didn't partake in any of that. Instead, I went with my coworker to have Chinese (never a good choice). Later on, there were leftover cookies in the lunchroom, and I partook of them (something I haven't done since I got banded). I think when it was all said and done, I had three -- one chocolate chip and two oatmeal raisin. Ugh. That little voice was there, telling me not to, but I squashed it like a bug. Bad idea.
Then yesterday we had a staff meeting, and one of the ladies made cupcakes because it was one lady's last day. I had two. :(
I'm not going to do as I have in the past and beat myself up, but I recognized it for what it was. I've been snappish at home (poor hubby) and disenchanted with work, and I could TELL that it was emotional in nature. To top it off, for some reason this third fill has not really quenched much or any of my hunger. I feel as hungry between meals as I did after my second. There is still willpower involved here, and two days this week I lost that battle.
I know I could have done MUCH worse, and I'm glad I didn't... at least there was a smidgen of willpower there. From my lowest, the second day of liquids after my third fill, I had gone up 6 1/2 pounds. All of that was gained before the cookies and cupcakes. I had done a dinner party last weekend, and I know that certainly contributed. However, as of this morning, three of those pounds are gone, so I don't fee quite so desolate.
The other issue is, I've been really slacking on exercise the last two weeks. I think it's partially because of the job thing, but that's not a good excuse. I know what I need to do, but I've been in a slump. I've just kinda been feeling blah. I don't want to go to work, don't want to be there when I am there, and I've just been feeling tired. I know it's a form of mild depression, and I also know one way to help get out of that is to exercise. This is my promise to myself that starting today, I will put on a better attitude and put myself FIRST again. I'm worth it.
Posted by Beth at 10:48 AM