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Monday, August 24, 2009

PBing going 70 miles an hour down the highway

Yes, boys and girls, it was JUST as fun as imagined. More, actually. I mean, I've always been able to multi-task, but wow... puking into a bag to Jason Mraz while catapulting down the highway with the top down is Just. So. Fun.

I was on the road all day yesterday, driving nearly 600 miles from my folks' house, and because I barely stop to pee, I really don't take the time to eat anything of any sustenance. All I had was junk (a continuation of the week I had spent there), and at one point I decided to stop at Micky D's and get some chicken nuggets because the thought of trying to eat a burger kinda scared me.

When I got there a small fry also sounded good, so I got both and ate the fries in the car as I sat in the parking lot. I took to the road and started on those yummy, delicious, real meat pieces of chicken heaven (okay, I know, but they USED to seem that way once, right?). The next thing I realize is I'm feeling that tight pain that comes with a PB. Seriously? NOW?? Holy cow.

I clear out the bag my golden goodies came in and utilized it in a way that it was not meant. I don't mean that to state the obvious -- just think paper bag and wet. Yeah, I think you get the idea without me painting you a mental picture that you will NOT thank me for.

So... to save my cloth seats I start ripping stuff out of my cooler that's in the front floorboard, knowing that there was a plastic bag in there. Whew, and none too soon, either.

However, the PBing continued for a bit longer, and I'm sure if anybody looked over, they saw this fat chick in a convertible whizzing past with what looked like a feed bag plastered to her face. I'm only thankful beyond words that if it HAD to happen this way, it wasn't in the stop-and-go traffic I ran into 20 miles further up the road.


  1. Snicker. Sorry, the visual of that IS funny. Sorry you had such a bad experience. Icky.

  2. I know... it sounds funny NOW. :)

  3. Oooh, this is like everyones worst nightmare. I totally freak out at the thought of this ever happening - it's bound to, but I don't want it! Good thing you had bags on hand.

  4. I know... normally I wouldn't have. Though very quickly I realized the PAPER bag was not the brightest idea... *ugh*

  5. All I had was a paper bag on Saturday, kids in the back seat and hubby driving (too much driving to pull over).....

    I feel your pain.

  6. I thought thats what Macca's bags were for? Its not called chew and spew for nothing after all. You're so lucky the PB didnt get "caught" in the wind - there would have been a whole new hair product going on there! I have done the pb in the car into an empty chinese container (clear plastic bowl here) that was pretty gruesome and very hard to do properly while sitting down.....and with the whole family commentating.