A change in perspective

I posted some of these recent posts over at LapBandTalk, but I wanted to move them here to share as well to keep close.

I used to want to lose weight and look the same I did when I was in my 20s and had a hot body.

Now I want:

To see my clavicle, a rib or even a waistline again.

I used to want to lose weight and be able to turn guys' heads again.

Now I want:

To be able to tie my shoes, walk upstairs, and (blush) have sex without difficulty.

I used to want to lose weight and look good in a bikini again.

Now I want:

To not be staring diabetes in the face, not worry about high blood pressure, not have my knees, hips, and feet ache, and not see this fat person staring back at me from the mirror -- when I catch a fleeting glance, of course.

I now simply want my health and quality of life back. I want to have pictures of me again (few taken in 15 years)! I want to shake the embarassment, the sadness, the self-contained lonliness because I don't want to (or can't) do some things with others. I used to want to look great again, but if my body looks halfway decent after my journey, I will take the blessing and look at it as icing on the cake. My vanity days are over. I just want my life back.