Weight Loss Tracker

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Apparently hiking trails have weight limits

This story is in two parts.  First, I've acquired a new gay husband.  Yes, yes, the old non-gay husband still lives here; but now I have one that probably wants to have sex with my husband too.  o_O

We have these neighbors -- great guys -- that live on the same drive we do.  Lately the guy one (don't judge -- you all know there's usually one in every gay couple that's more masculine [or feminine] than the other, lol) has been coming over and asking if I want to go walk dogs with him.  We walk.  We talk.  He usually complains about his mate (that's a whole novel unto itself).  I'm kind of a loner, and he's somewhat lonely, so it's been a nice match (well, except that he and I don't see eye-to-eye politically and somehow have gotten into a few of  "those" conversations.  But I digress...).  I think I'm a safe outlet for him to complain about his guy, and because I KNOW his guy, I totally understand.

Anyway, the second part of the story is we're going hiking and camping for a couple days next week.  Yes, I'm going camping with a guy not my husband with a guy who is also likely not to touch me.  But I digress.  Again.  :)  I'm really looking forward to it.  We live in a great area for it, and it's something new for me.  He took me shopping tonight and I got new hiking boots, socks, undies (yes, yes, a gay man helped me pick out undies that wick away sweat and inhibit bacteria growth.  And something tells me the shudder he exhibited had to do with the thought of a vagina and not the bacteria.  o_O ), and some other small items.  Which brings me to... the pants.

We thought it would be best to have those wick-away style cargo pants where the legs zip off and leave you with shorts.  Sounds GREAT!  Sounds smart!  Sounds sensible!  But at 220 pounds and still a pretty solid size 18, it's virtually impossible, especially since these typically run a bit small.  We went to two outdoors stores that sell this stuff, and at both stores the women's sizes end at size 16.  Okay, in all fairness, the second store had about 386 pairs of sizes 2 through 16 -- and two size 24W.  o_O  WTF?

What's worse is that in the FIRST store I thought, okay, the men's pants don't look any different.  I already have no pride left, so I'll try them.  Now, how do you figure out what your size is in a men's?  So I just figured I'd try the two largest sizes -- 38 and 40.  The 38's fit like the 16's did -- which means they didn't.  So I tried the 40's.  They fit... I mean, the waist was good, the length was good, but because men are shaped like 2x4s, there was no give in the butt.  I could move in them, but they just had no give.  Seriously??  I can't even fit in a man's size?

Luckily the second store had a men's XXL-30L -- and I mean A men's XXL as in The. Only. One. -- which was nice and loose enough for what we'll be doing.  Fashionable?  Nope.  Anywhere even remotely close to a color on my color wheel?  Nuh-uh.  Women's?  Not a chance.  But they cover my ass.

Talk about a kick in the gut.  Lose 75 pounds and I'm too fat to hike.  Seems to me there's a market there that needs tapping.  ;)


  1. Too fat too hike - NO WAY!! No matter what you wear I bet you kick butt and find yourself fitter than you realise.
    Lucky you finding a guy to shop with. That sounds like heaven to me lol. Have fun!

  2. Love our story! I too have many gay friends I do things with. Usually not shopping unless its for them!

  3. One of my other blogger friends is mounting a campaign to get the makers of women's exercise clothes to make them for the larger sizes. You should tell her about your experiences at REI. She's making a list!


  4. Ahh, thanks, Mac!! I certainly will do! I mean, who needs this stuff more than fatties like me? :)