Weight Loss Tracker

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Absolutely, positively, and totally pathetic

I don't know what made me do it, but I was thinking about when I got my GoWear Fit while I was doing some troubleshooting on it.

I've had it on since March 17 -- over six months -- and I only show an 18 pound loss.  I've been stagnant most of the time I've had this thing on, and it's all me.  I've slacked in some areas, totally screwed up in others... it's effin' depressing to know that I went through this surgery and I'm  not much better off than I was when I just dieted.  If anything, I lost more in less time when I dieted, losing on average 10+ pounds a month.  I did a weightloss program a few years ago and lost 70 pounds in six months.  And here I am coming up on my 1-year bandiversary in six weeks, and I'm "only" at 67 pounds lost.

I can't say I feel defeated, but... wow.

Guess I can use this anger at myself to get my ass in the gym now that I know I have free access.  I need to get a HUGE grip.  :(


  1. Beth:
    You know, sometimes I think that too.. that I could have lost more by myself without the surgery but then I do a double think... Nah, no way would I have lost 22 kilos on my own and the best thing.. I will not put it back on! No bloody way.

    I think if you eat properly and your fill is working.. it would be damn hard to actually blow up again. That's the theory.. let's see how it works in practice.
    Don't give up.. you are doing great!!!!!!!

  2. Thanks, Cara. And as I read your words, I remember the other times I lost weight. Not only did I stop losing after six months (kind of like I have here, hence the eating disorder therapist), but I had gained a lot of it back within the second six months (which I'm almost at the year mark from my surgery).

    It's just so disheartening to know that if I could have kept up my pace, I SHOULD have lost nearly 70 pounds since March instead of only 18. >sigh<

    Well, I can't undo what I haven't done the last half year, but I CAN change what I've been doing and strive for a better outcome.

    Thanks for your kind words. :) And congrats on your OWN weight loss!