Monday, November 18, 2013
Epiphanies and other odd things
Issue Number One: I was always upset that my husband never seemed to accept who I was, regardless of how I looked. Any of you reading this probably understand what I mean -- we KNOW we don't look good, but we want to be accepted and feel loved anyway.
Issue Number Two: I recently went out on three very short dates with a guy who loved the way I look NOW and wanted me to stay where I was. Though that sounds great at first blush, I don't like how I look right now, and I'm still working to get to a better place in my weight loss journey.
So... what's wrong with me? When I was heavier, I wanted to be accepted for who I am no matter how I looked. And now, I don't want someone to want me to stay where I am today. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to know that somebody accepts me where I am, but I would also want someone who is supportive about me bettering myself while being encouraging.
Does this make sense?
I guess I never thought I'd find myself in a place where I would be disappointed at somebody accepting me and wanting me to stay where I am right now.
Additionally, I went out twice with another guy a few months ago who was actually surprised that I exercise as much as I do and my dedication to it. He was a large guy himself; and though I'm not knocking him for that, all I could think of was, "guy with food issues -- how long before I'd be back to my old habits?"
Again, we'd be going in opposite directions.
Though it all makes sense, it also seems very odd to me. Maybe I'm learning something about myself. Then again, maybe I'm just hormonal and confused.
Posted by Beth at 9:23 PM