Weight Loss Tracker

Sunday, July 25, 2010

A birthday and -- what?

I had a birthday on Thursday.  It was uneventful and pretty much came and went with a sigh in more ways than one.

One of the reasons is that I probably weigh this year the same as I did at my birthday last year.  Granted, I'm not disappointed that I'm less than I was at my height, but... do I REALLY want to be over 200 pounds and view that as a GOOD thing??  I don't think so.  :(

I've been in a funk.  For the longest time it was the fact that I was doing everything right and not being "rewarded" for it with scale movement.  I know, I know, my clothes probably fit better, but we ALL want to see that number move down.  I SAY I don't care if I'm 300 pounds, so long as I can fit into a size 6 or 8, but we all know that's crap.  I want to be a normal weight too.

So I finally started to move down some and then had problems with reflux and getting badly stuck one day, which led my surgeon (not my regular fill person) to unfill me by almost half.  I'm STILL not back up to where I was, though I do have a fill scheduled for tomorrow at 1:00.  Thirteen and-a-half hours.  And counting.  Tick..................................................... Tock................................................... Tick................................................................................................................. Tock....................................................................................................................................

Hubby and I leave for Jamaica in just over two weeks, and back when I scheduled this vacation I was SURE I would get under 200 pounds as I only had 15 to go.  Then the unfill, and I gained 17.  This last month has not been good in many ways, and I have not felt much restriction.  And I've eaten as if I have no restriction.  I don't even have the nerve to get on the scale.

And exercise??  Pffffft, whassat?  WTH is wrong with me?  I SAY it's because I'm busy, but I'm not SO busy that I can't work out.  I'm just... I guess I'm just in a funk.  I never expected this to be a snap, but some seem to drop it SO easily while people like me may as well be on a regular diet for all the benefit I'm getting from this.  It really pisses me off.  :(

2 comments:

  1. I'm quite convinced that it's not exercise you need, just plain restriction. And by now you probably have it. How do you feel?
    Caroline

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  2. I actually feel pretty well, thank you. Not too tight, but I don't feel hungry. I couldn't say that last month -- I came HOME hungry. :/

    But yes, exercise would really help. Sitting still on the couch and eating junk is what GOT me fat. lol

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