I've sat on this for a few days because I'm just speechless, and NOW I'm getting angry. It's doubly hard when it's a family member that says or does something that is mean-spirited, uncalled-for, and ugly.
I mentioned a couple weeks ago what my sister said to me on Facebook (which is STILL there, I might add) about her new boyfriend mentioning that "at least he got the thin sister." Now she's going after my sister-in-law who is not only as cute as a button, but a genuinely nice person.
My brother wrote a funny e-mail to my mom (which then got shared with the rest of us) about my SIL:
So, for the last several nights, I've come home to [A] wearing her "comfy clothes"... Same pair of jeans and same t-shirt. Yesterday I said, "So, ah... I see you're wearing the same thing AGAIN...." She said, "What's the problem? I don't go out in these clothes; I'm just sitting on the couch." I said, "How about a little variety for when your hubby comes home?"
Today, I get home and she's wearing her wedding dress.....
This was followed by a picture he took with his cell phone. It was ADORABLE and truly funny.
My sister's reply?
I quite clearly saw her holding the back of her dress together, I assumed it was because she couldn't get it zipped up! LOLOL
JUST KIDDING [A] - LUV YA BABE!!
Um... yeah.
Oh, and you can put all the LOLOLOL's you want behind ugly comments, but they're still UGLY. And NOT funny. Except, it seems, to my sister.
Okay, my SIL is maybe 120 pounds soaking wet (and I'd guess she's about 5'7" or so, like me), and she could pass for one of the teenagers she teaches, even though she is in her early 40s. Maybe she was 105 or 110 when she got married about 17 years ago (I'm not a good guesser, but she's always been thin). I'd give ANYTHING to look that good.
I don't know what's gotten into my sister, but I find that really REALLY ugly. I don't even know if it bothered my SIL, but it bothered me. THIS time I didn't keep my mouth shut; I simply wrote back as a "reply all" that she was getting really good at these weight-focused quips and that she must be practicing. Wink. o_0
Again, if my sister was the epitome of perfect living, MAYBE I could give her some slack. Okay, not really, but you get the point. She has a few MAJOR vices of her own that, I guess because they don't show like our weight does, she feels better than people with a weight problem. Granted, when she DOES work out, she work out a LOT -- probably TOO much, as it's almost manic when she does it -- but the primary reason she does it is because she drinks like nobody I've ever seen. Her functioning alcoholism is the elephant in the room that nobody ever addresses or talks about... to HER. All of us have discussed it, but never with her.
But I guess somehow being a food addict is somehow more distasteful than being an alcohol addict to some. And for what it's worth, she's been an alcoholic longer than I've been fat. But wait -- SHE is also a food addict. She's a recovering bulemic and anorexic. I told her one day years ago that the only difference between she and I is that I had never stuck my finger down my throat. However, as I think about this, that's not truly the ONLY difference because, though I have made horrible choices in food which have led to my weight gain, I have never binged.
People in glass houses...
I'm getting angry with you! I know people just like that. I'm sorry that she says hurtful things, broken people usually do, so they can make themselves feel better. Good for you for saying something. Maybe it's time for the whole family to start addressing the elephant in the room!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Theresa 1000%....... broken people say hurtful things. Honestly...... her comments actually say VOLUMES about her.
ReplyDeleteLike they always say....... you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family!
Oh yes...she obviously has her issues and rather than focusing on them, she shines the light on others. Good for you letting her know you are on to her! Don't back down.
ReplyDeleteUgh! Who doesn't have issues and exactly -- people who have the biggest ones usually don't acknowledge it or are in complete denial
ReplyDeleteSounds like there is a lot of denial in her words. At least you know what she's up too and can offer support to the rest of your family from her remarks!
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ReplyDeleteHow's it going Beth? (In case it's not good, you couldn't be worse than me...)
ReplyDeleteCaroline
Oh no, Caroline, what's the matter?? :( I've been doing well, just REALLY busy with schoolwork. I have two semesters left of my schooling before I graduate, so I haven't been on my blog much at all.
ReplyDeleteIn a word - sliders. Nothing wrong with the band. But I'll pick up again eventually...
ReplyDeleteCaroline
I've been eating strangely lately -- but then I'm in the final seven weeks of school (I graduate seven weeks from today!). Often I don't even find the time to eat my first meal until about 2:00 or so, and then I eat dinner. It's not HORRIBLE, but it's not balanced. :o/
ReplyDelete