Okay, so I've been visiting the folks since last Saturday, and I feel like I've done nothing but nibble and eat crap for five freakin' days. Even bought some candy to go with the movies we rented the other day (Brach's double-dipped chocolate covered peanuts) because, hey, I guess I just figure that any calories taken in on vacation don't count, right? >rolls eyes<
So I'm eating on these chocolate-covered peanuts last night and thinking, "Hmm, I don't even know if I like these." I was looking for good old-fashioned Goobers, but they were not to be found -- so I settled on these others. So what do I do? Eat MORE of them today, only to proclaim afterwards that I don't really like them. Um, so WTF?? WHY was I continuing to eat them??? Arrrghhhh....
I'm beginning to feel part of it is stress eating as well. Hubby informed me yesterday that he's having surgery done on his neck on Tuesday to try to alleviate the pain he's been having from his neck down his arm for five years now. Yes, you heard me right. Five. Years. They found that two of his disks are deteriorated pretty badly and his options were cortisone shots, physical therapy, doing nothing, or surgery. Well, obviously the first three wouldn't take care of the problem, so he opted for surgery.
I've also come to the realization that, like he says, I really DON'T listen to a dadgum thing he says. To make things even MORE stressful, he says that as of September 25, his job contract ends. Now, I was under the impression that some months back they were cleared for another three years, but apparently that was not the case. SOMETHING they wanted was extended for three years, but obviously it wasn't the job. So... in just barely over a month, we could be out of ANY job. I'm not working and haven't been since the end of March, and we ALL know how the job market has been lately. I'm more than a little nervous. I'm almost sick to my stomach over it.
What makes things worse is that he's not a super go-getter. He lost his job some years back and was out of permanent work for two years. He was able to get some short-term contract jobs here and there, but that was after probably being without work for a year. AND they didn't offer insurance. So here we were, for two years -- two adults and a child -- with no insurance. And him pretty much in meltdown mode. Not listening to anybody and their suggestions. It was ugly. My church friends were saying they would have left him. Women that I considered more Christian than myself. Go figger.
And here I signed on for a full load of classes. Had I known this about his job, I would have taken on ANY job ANYwhere rather than trying to find something that would fit what I want to do (though there's no guarantee that the outcome would have been any different) just to have SOMEthing coming in. So now I have to go home and talk with him over the next couple weeks and determine if I'm going to quit school before I ever start. Classes begin a week from Monday, on the 31st. Up until a certain point even after classes start, I can get a 100 percent refund.
This is just too much...
My husband also is not a big go-getter when it comes to his career. He loves his current job though and the company seems to be doing okay so that's good. But it's a small company and could go under at any time; I just try not to think about it.
ReplyDeleteOn the subject of eating, I spent a LONG TIME working on this. Probably three years. I came up with a system, the "Worth it" system where I would rate foods as to enjoyment vs. calories and I would not put anything into my body that didn't score high enough on my Worth It scale.
The idea is to break the cycle of having forbidden foods that you tell yourself you'll avoid for life and then eventually give in because you feel deprived. I will eat Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia Frozen Yogurt because I love it. I won't eat Dairy Queen sundaes, though, because they use cheap ingredients and I don't really like them.
I find, if I approach food this way, I eat a lot less junk and it's easier to stop after a few bites because what I eat actually satisfies me.
You know, Mac, I do that pretty well at home. Heck, I don't even necessarily want the stuff I'm eating when I'm home. It seems that when on vacation, not only I get into this mode, but so does my mom. We've both been laughing about how we do when we get together.
ReplyDeleteAt least now I tell myself that this will end in a couple days and all will be right as rain again.
On the job front, yeah, hubby has disappointed me before. That was when our old hometown was really hit hard, but there was not a nation-wide recession.
He had his interview today and felt pretty good about it, but he's one of five they are interviewing. I guess we'll see.
Beth, that is really terrible. But, it's also why financial aid and student loans exist. I am not saying to go crazy and take out a bunch of loans, but this extra education is bound to add to your earning potential, and I would hate to see you have to give it up, especially before it even starts.
ReplyDeleteI paid for my own law school almost completely with loans . . to the tune of $100K. It was worth every penny. My loans are nearly paid off, and having them let me both (a) do cool and interesting work that I enjoy; and (b) make a lot more money than I would have otherwise.
Definitely consider this as an option. Also, maybe now it's your husband's turn to take a job (any job) to see you both through this time.
Hang in there. I am rooting for you.
Catherine
Thanks, Catherine.
ReplyDeleteI actually DID take advantage of a student loan for this semester. I qualified for something like $5200 and I needed only $4100 for classes. He wanted me to use some investment money I had put aside a few years back, and I COULD have used it with no penalties to us as I had already paid taxes on it; but I thought it would be better to have money we could access like that for emergencies. And this was before I knew about his job situation.
He COULD take "any job," but when he lost his job back some years ago, he said the same thing and instead sat around and moped.
So I guess we'll see...