I hadn't really thought of this before, but a thread at LBT came up that discussed this, and some interesting information was put out there about this. The thread:
http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f7/true-divorce-after-wls-within-3-years-why-73277/
In the thread was a link to this article:
Gastric bypass surgery has its risks, including divorce
http://www.seattlepi.com/national/180580_bypass03.html
And a member from LBT blogged about this in May of last year:
http://killthefatman.livejournal.com/32994.html
It DOES make me wonder. The general concensus seems to be that a marriage that is not already good or strong may suffer once somebody starts losing large amounts of weight. I know in the past, when I have lost weight, I would go through a freak-out when guys would pay attention to me and I would do an about face and gain it all back because I feel somewhat unappreciated at home. And the sex life... well, I won't go into detail, but it's never been that frequent (at least for me) and has been a HUGE bone of contention between us at times, with me threatening to get it elsewhere. I can see how people who have felt less than desired at home could be pulled into something they wouldn't normally do when they feel good about themselves and they are getting positive attention from others.
I admit that this concerns me. I would prefer to get it at home, but I DO worry that I could find myself in this position one day.
I have heard that the divorce rate is something like 55% after WLS and I can sure understand why for alot of different reasons. My unfunny husband says to come this way and he'll see you right but seriously, its a really big issue suddenly being attractive to people and put in very compromising positions. In the past I have definitely realised that alot of the reason why I got fat in the first place was a protective behaviour against men who found me attractive. Being attractive gets you hurt and sometimes abused and leads to some horrible situations. I think for us, this is going to take some working out so we dont go back down the "fat is safe" road again. Good luck girl!
ReplyDeleteOmg, Shaggs, you hit it right on the head!
ReplyDeleteThe problem I have is my husband is less than attentive, is not, erm... sexually attentive -- or at least to a level that I would like and find healthy and solidifying in a marriage. Couple that with me getting attention, and you're right -- it causes huge problems. I KNOW that is a big reason I gained before... if I was fat, then I could "understand" why he won't pay attention to me. :(