Feeling blaaah

Well, I didn't get the job. Yeah, it sucks. However, it is also a blessing in disguise. I know God doesn't always give us what we want, but He does give us what we need. The bosses can be such you-know-whats, it was best that I didn't get the position. I just hate that favoritism and brown-nosing are the way it all works these days. If I felt it was ALL due to this other person being the best choice, I'd be a bit more okay with it -- rather than knowing it's 90 percent about the fact that the one boss looks on her as some long-lost child of hers. Blaaah.

Anyway, I wasn't happy yesterday. I finally mustered up enough oomph to congratulate her and lick my wounds. However, there was a State Bar party that we forgot about and were only reminded about 20 minutes before we got off work. Even though I felt blaaah, I didn't mind the thought of drinking and making quasi-merry.

Went to the party and had a few screwdrivers (hey, may as well have some vitamin C with my alcohol, right?) and some appetisers -- bacon-wrapped scallops, small crab cakes, and a spinach dip with crisp breads. Even though I knew I should not really indulge, I did. I've been eating crab cakes for nearly two weeks anyway since I went to mushies, and I had two of the scallops and a small dollop of the spinach. That ended up being dinner, so that wasn't so bad. It was enough to satiate.

However, I DID realize that I was doing a bit of emotional eating after I was told that my co-worker got the job. I had four chocolate "turtles," a medium plate of the torte my friend made (explained in my previous entry), and one small, wafer-thin cookie. I have to say, even though I know what I was doing, and realized it even as I scooped the torte onto my plate, I didn't care. However, compared to the damage I would usually do, I was still proud of myself. Before the band, I would have gorged myself -- and I could have. No real restriction, and tons of leftovers from the party on Thursday. So all in all, if this is the worst I've done, I'm pretty damn proud regardless. This too shall pass. And I wait for the day that the bosses realize they made a HUGE mistake. *evil snicker*