Apparently hiking trails have weight limits

This story is in two parts.  First, I've acquired a new gay husband.  Yes, yes, the old non-gay husband still lives here; but now I have one that probably wants to have sex with my husband too.  o_O

We have these neighbors -- great guys -- that live on the same drive we do.  Lately the guy one (don't judge -- you all know there's usually one in every gay couple that's more masculine [or feminine] than the other, lol) has been coming over and asking if I want to go walk dogs with him.  We walk.  We talk.  He usually complains about his mate (that's a whole novel unto itself).  I'm kind of a loner, and he's somewhat lonely, so it's been a nice match (well, except that he and I don't see eye-to-eye politically and somehow have gotten into a few of  "those" conversations.  But I digress...).  I think I'm a safe outlet for him to complain about his guy, and because I KNOW his guy, I totally understand.

Anyway, the second part of the story is we're going hiking and camping for a couple days next week.  Yes, I'm going camping with a guy not my husband with a guy who is also likely not to touch me.  But I digress.  Again.  :)  I'm really looking forward to it.  We live in a great area for it, and it's something new for me.  He took me shopping tonight and I got new hiking boots, socks, undies (yes, yes, a gay man helped me pick out undies that wick away sweat and inhibit bacteria growth.  And something tells me the shudder he exhibited had to do with the thought of a vagina and not the bacteria.  o_O ), and some other small items.  Which brings me to... the pants.

We thought it would be best to have those wick-away style cargo pants where the legs zip off and leave you with shorts.  Sounds GREAT!  Sounds smart!  Sounds sensible!  But at 220 pounds and still a pretty solid size 18, it's virtually impossible, especially since these typically run a bit small.  We went to two outdoors stores that sell this stuff, and at both stores the women's sizes end at size 16.  Okay, in all fairness, the second store had about 386 pairs of sizes 2 through 16 -- and two size 24W.  o_O  WTF?

What's worse is that in the FIRST store I thought, okay, the men's pants don't look any different.  I already have no pride left, so I'll try them.  Now, how do you figure out what your size is in a men's?  So I just figured I'd try the two largest sizes -- 38 and 40.  The 38's fit like the 16's did -- which means they didn't.  So I tried the 40's.  They fit... I mean, the waist was good, the length was good, but because men are shaped like 2x4s, there was no give in the butt.  I could move in them, but they just had no give.  Seriously??  I can't even fit in a man's size?

Luckily the second store had a men's XXL-30L -- and I mean A men's XXL as in The. Only. One. -- which was nice and loose enough for what we'll be doing.  Fashionable?  Nope.  Anywhere even remotely close to a color on my color wheel?  Nuh-uh.  Women's?  Not a chance.  But they cover my ass.

Talk about a kick in the gut.  Lose 75 pounds and I'm too fat to hike.  Seems to me there's a market there that needs tapping.  ;)

Emergency unfill :(

Wow, Friday night into Saturday really sucked.

We went to a party with another couple, and everything went okay.  Over a number of hours I had a few glasses of wine, and later in the evening I had half a hamburger patty (dinner was pretty early for us).  I chewed well, and nothing was apparently wrong.

Later in the evening, I felt this horrible pain in my "breadbasket" area, one that reminded me a lot of the pain I had when my gall bladder finally failed me (though not as bad) -- kind of a dull, hot pain that radiated to my back.  I tried to sleep but didn't do very well with that.  In the morning I wasn't doing much better.

I tried to sip on a protein shake and got maybe 1/4 through it before I felt that queasy, I'm-going-to-vomit feeling.  And yep, it came up.  And up.  And up.  And saliva.  And protein shake.  So I did a pretty stupid thing (thinking back now) and broke up a motrin tablet thinking I was experiencing swelling, especially since I had been having some light reflux over the past few weeks due to my end-of-semester stress.  Well, I found out pretty damn quick that that was a BAD idea.  I spent the next 30 minutes over the kitchen sink, tossing up waaaay more than I took in.  All I could figure it was at that point was all the saliva I had swallowed since the night before.  I would get a muscle "spasm" and up stuff would come.  And the PAIN.  Omg, I could hardly stand.

It got so bad I called my doctor's emergency number and said I was getting really worried.  I didn't know what a slipped band felt like, but I knew all the vomiting/PBing wasn't any good.  However, the more I did that, the more the pain in my chest lessened -- so that was the only good thing.

He told me to come in and, many pokes later (this wasn't my normal fill doc), he said he had taken out 2cc.  That's nearly HALF of what I had in my band!  Ugh...

He thinks I had a small blockage that didn't really feel like a standard blockage which caused irritation and then swelling.  I appear to have a sensitive stomach that reacts badly to even slight irritations, which isn't making me love my band much these days.  :(

So now I have to figure out how long to go like this before I try to get refilled again.

8 Workout Tips for Women

From Everyday Health:

Fitness: An Essential Part of Women's Health


When it comes to workouts for men and women, all exercise routines should not be created equal. So what's the best way for a woman to get fit? Work in some cardio, add a little weight, and stretch — here's how to get started.

A good fitness program involves cardiovascular (cardio) exercise, muscle toning, and stretching for flexibility — it can help keep you vital and ward off dangerous threats to women's health, like heart disease, cancer, obesity, and diabetes. And while men and women can benefit from similar workouts, women can and should tailor their own fitness routine — one that’s just right for your body’s needs and wants.

"Women absolutely need a well-rounded fitness regimen," says Kristy Altman, ACE certified group exercise instructor and managing director for the Knoxville Track Club in Tennessee. "Women need to lift weights to build strength, and they also need stretching to maintain their flexibility." The third part of a well-rounded women’s workout routine? Cardiovascular exercise. Cardio gets your heart pumping, while weight-training exercises target your arms, abs, thighs, butt, and calves.

Many women shy away from heavy weight-lifting exercise, but strength training is still an important part of an overall women’s fitness routine. When lifting weights, start out using lighter weights and more repetitions for better muscle toning, says Altman. You can use weight machines or free weights at the gym or work your muscles with resistance bands — whatever is more comfortable for you.

Even if you start toning your muscles with very light weights — such as a 3-pound weight in each hand for curls — you can gradually add more weight as you develop strength and become more able to do the exercises with correct form. When you can complete three sets of 8 to 12 repetitions each, for instance, challenge your muscles by increasing the weight, says Altman.

Cardiovascular exercise is the cornerstone of women’s workouts. Cardio activities help you burn calories and maintain a healthy body weight — both very important parts of women's health. "First, we all need cardio. Women tend to carry weight in their stomachs and hips and, because there is no such thing as spot training, cardiovascular exercise will help to keep that area lean," says Altman. Running, biking, swimming, tennis, hiking, and walking — these are all good cardio choices.

You can accomplish more from your workout by targeting multiple areas of the body at one time. "Any exercises that multi-task are awesome for women — anything that’s working more than one muscle group at a time," says Altman. "We can work out core-abs in almost any weight-lifting exercise if we focus on engaging those abdominal-core muscles." Focus on your abs during your workouts, and you'll have a taut tummy and strong core before you know it.

Altman suggests adding balance bicep curls to your workouts. Stand on one leg and do six to eight bicep curls. Then stand on the other leg, repeating your curls. These curls provide muscle toning in your arms while also strengthening your abdominals. Overhead tricep extensions are a good addition to arm workouts: Hold a medicine ball or a weight above your head, with arms straight up; then lower it toward your back moving only your forearms. Now press up by straightening the forearms overhead to work your triceps — work your calves at the same time by standing on your toes as you do the movement.

We all know that exercise isn't only about good health — women want to look great, too. So don't forget to tone your lower body. Lunges are a great addition to women's fitness workouts, as they target the thighs and buttocks, areas where many women need to focus on muscle toning. Try doing your lunges while holding a medicine ball to make the movement a little tougher, and do wall squats to tone and strengthen.

Great workouts for women don’t have to be all about the burn. Yoga can help you relax and de-stress before or after a long day — and it also works your flexibility to keep you limber as you age. Altman suggests yoga poses like the downward-facing dog, the forearm plank pose, side lying twist, and seated forward fold. These poses involve stretching and muscle toning, making them great choices to add to your fitness mix.

http://www.everydayhealth.com/womens-health-pictures/just-for-women-workout.aspx

'Scuze me, Doctor, what's this thing on my butt and why is it shaped like a couch??

Omg, can you say NO exercise since I visited with my sister back in March (I think)??  I try to blame it on school, like I do the nibbling when I go through THAT too, but at this rate I could be blaming schooling for another year.  Obviously at the end of any semester I am cranking out papers by the forest-load and studying for finals, but I can't find an HOUR for myself?  REALLY?  Or is it that I don't really WANT to?  Unfortunately -- and if I'm really honest with myself -- I believe it's the latter.

Okay, so I FINALLY get my basement all put together last week (like TOTALLY finished -- even put up all the baseboards and arranged all the stuff down there), and I'm sitting upstairs getting butt rot on the couch.  WHY??  And to boot, I've been eating at times as if the band is just a rubber band -- i.e. stretchy.  I'm getting really pissed, and I'm getting pissed at me.  My goal of having done a 5K this spring is gone since I wasn't able to really do the Couch-2-5K through the winter.  Why?  Because I quit going to the gym (in fairness, though, I was working out in the basement... THEN).

Oh, and I think I'm addicted to ice cream.  No doubt I need an intervention.  Yes, I said it.  My name is Beth and I'm addicted to Ben.  And Jerry.  And Haagen Dazs.  My threesome is turning into an all-out orgy.  o_O

What the hell is going on??  I could kind of blame it on end-of-semester stress, but if I keep turning to food when I'm stressed, what have I learned??

The one GOOD thing happening now is that I have a vacation planned and booked for mid-August in Jamaica.  Because of this, I have set a goal -- to be below 200 by the time we leave (the last time I weighed, I was 215, but that may be just a pipe dream about now).  It's TOTALLY do-able, so long as I follow through.

Now if I could only get rid of this couch-shaped boil on my butt...

Another semester DOWN

Omg, I can't even begin to tell y'all how hectic and busy this last semester was, but the grades are rolling in and (so far) I have two As and a B.  I'm waiting on the other two grades to post (I expect an A in one, and I was borderline between an A and a B in the other, the one I took the final in today).

I hate the end of the semester, primarily because I notice it makes my band act all crappy.  I was thisclose to wanting to rip it right out, I was getting so tired of its shenanigans.  I get tense, which makes my band tight and causes me to get reflux at night while I'm sleeping.  The good news is that I never got filled back up to 5.2 like I was at my tightest (a number that really REALLY worked for me), so I was able to weather through the reflux with a bit of motrin and careful eating.

I only have a week off before starting summer classes, so I'll have to use my time wisely.  I have a bunch of stuff to post here, so I'll try at night to pull the most pertinent stuff and share them.  I also need to try to catch up with all of your blogs as well and see how everybody is doing.

WHEW!!

Me gone long time

Omg, how long has it been?  I haven't even checked.  It's been a whirlwind around here with my last week or two of this semester coming to a close.  I love how every professor wants huge papers and research done at the close of the semester, don't you?  o_O

To boot, I've been on two team projects -- one went pretty well, the other was a complete disaster.  I was so stressed I PBed a bunch, my band got tight, and I am now periodically suffering from EOSNAR or End of Semester Nighttime Acid Reflux.  That's always nice, don't you think?

Besides that, I can't tell you the last time I exercised.  I've gone for a couple dog-walking excursions, but beyond that, my basement doesn't recognize me anymore.  And what's worse is I only have a week off before I start summer classes.  Just kill me now.

I haven't forgotten about all of you.  A couple were even kind enough to check to see if I was alive.  :)  Yes, I'm here -- trying to remember my name on some days, forgetting why I got up and went into that room on others.  But it should all be worth it in the end, righ?  RIGHT??

My eating has been hit or miss.  Some days I do well, others I'm downing a pint of Ben and Jerry's.  I have some time today, so I should get my butt off this permanently implanted couch and go do some of my Zumba program that I just got in the mail last week to shake things up a bit -- literally and figuratively.

The GOOD news is, we're going on vacation after summer sessions are over.  I will definitely need some R&R by then.  I think we're heading to Antigua to some romantic little getaway.  I can hardly wait!!

I will touch base soon as I'm almost done.  I found some great articles worth sharing, and maybe I will be back on track by then.  I miss everybody!